Well, we didn’t see that one coming: The mayfly-lifespan UKIP leader Lois Perry – who resigned during the general election just a few weeks after being elected – has announced that she is joining Fiore!

Italian criminal and long-time Searchlight sparring partner Roberto Fiore moved out of London long ago, and very much runs the neo-fascist Forza Nuova from his homeland. Is Lois emigrating?

Perry’s Car26 fanbase can breathe a sigh of relief. It’s not the Italian nazi who has signed her up at all. She has become, she says, ”the face and legs of lingerie and hosiery brand fiore UK”. Not bad going for someone who was supposed to be wasting away from pneumonia just a few months ago.

This still has us a touch puzzled, though, as both Fiore-UK and the associated Simply Hosiery are listed at Companies House as ’dormant’ companies. Our guess is that she means she’s the UK-specific derrière for scanties specialists Fiore Sp based in, er, Łódź, Poland. But maybe we have our underwires crossed somewhere.

Still, with the convict Roberto apparently nowhere in this picture, Lois is free to remain seemingly obsessed with Nomad Nigel, whose name she contrives to squeeze even into this frilly little announcement. ”It’s a slight departure from leading Nigel Farage’s old party,” she says, when she might more easily have simply typed ’UKIP’.

There seems little doubt that Lois feels she has found her Superman. Our advice is that he will prove unreliable the moment any kryptonite hits the fan – but that’s her lookout.