Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, aka Tommy Robinson, has been at the gear again.

In his latest online missive he rants that our rights and freedoms are being taken from us and he, fearless fighter for our futures, is “gonna scream it from the hilltops”

Now, we have to ask: which hilltops are those, Steabhán? MacGillycuddy’s Reeks? The White Towns of Malaga? The mountains where you make those five-hour sweatless treks in Greece? Or some new panic phase bolt-hole in remote yodelling country?

Because all of the hills in Ingerlund are looking conspicuously de-yaxlified at the moment. And they’re going to stay that way, aren’t they?

Because Lennon’s goodness-knows-what-fuelled paranoia has now reached a pitch where the UK authorities have escalated their persecution of him to the point where they plan on ”Putting me in jail and getting me killed!”

Of course. There’s an SAS death squad already serving time undercover in Belmarsh, just waiting for the Luton Leprechaun to turn up for his porridge. No doubt about it. Phew!

We do hope that those followers of the Boy From Ballyburberry who have put their money on his turning up for his next scheduled court appearance, in October, have managed to obtain a very long price on Betfair.

Coming soon: ”The Archons have put out a contract on me and the Aquaphibians follow my ferries in their Mechanical Fish!”