So, UKIP and the English Democrats gathered in Nottingham today for the first day of their first joint conference. And, as well as having to face demonstrators outside the hotel where they met (above), it was not all smooth running.

Apart from anything else, the ‘confidential’ Conference ‘Program’ was so confidential that half the attendees still haven’t seen tomorrow’s agenda. So, to lighten their darkness, we are posting it here.

Oh, and a note to the hapless party Chairman and conference organiser Ben ‘Rogue Builder’ Walker: spelling it ‘program’, unless in a computing context, is really a pretty obvious Americanism and not a great look for a patriotic UK party such as yours. Talking of Walker, we are wondering why some conference-goers are referring to him – sotto voce – as ‘Bent Walker’.

Now, before you get cross, this is clearly not intended as an offensive reference to the UKIP Returning Officer’s sexuality; in fact, the man got married to his long time, and long suffering, girlfriend only a couple of weeks ago. But what other inference is intended, we have absolutely no idea.

Demo pic: SUTR