Patriotic Alternative have now raised almost £15k for their fund to help the families of ‘political prisoners’ jailed for their part in last month’s racist riots. And needless to say, those they are presenting as victims of unfair ‘two-tier justice’ are nothing of the sort.

First (and so far, only) actual handout from the fund has gone to the family of Lewis Carver, a 31-year-old landscape gardener who got 26 months for his part in the riots in Hull.

 According to PA his sentence was completely disproportionate to his offence which, they say, only amounted to “throwing a traffic cone towards police and holding a riot shield over his head”.

Well, that’s not quite all of it. Carver, completely drunk, actually threw the traffic cone into a police officer’s face, inflicting a ‘nasty injury’ very near to his eye and hospitalising him. The officer will, the court was told, probably be scarred for life. He also threw a bicycle at other police officers. In court, he pleaded guilty to violent disorder and assault on an emergency worker (the police officer).

And what are the odds that the next recipient of PA’s largesse will be the family of Bradley McCarthy (below) from Bristol, aged 34, who got 20 months for his role in riots in the city on 3 August.

PA fuhrer Mark Collett has already waded in to defend him, comparing his treatment unfavourably with that of BBC news presenter Huw Edwards who got a six-month suspended sentence for possessing pornography featuring appalling sexual abuse of young children. In comparison, says Collett, McCarthy was banged up simply for “shouting at a police dog”.

Dropping to floor level and screaming at the dog was merely the most bizarre part of McCarthy’s behaviour. He had already been arrested once that day, but instead of taking this as a warning to clear off home, he returned to the scene and threatened counter-protestors, used racist slurs and goaded the police.

He pleaded guilty to violent disorder, and the judge will certainly have taken into account a long list of previous convictions for violence, public order and weapons offences.

No one will want to speak in defence of Huw Edwards, who is a disgrace, but that doesn’t excuse Collett misrepresenting his counter-example as a man who simply shouted at a dog when, according to police, McCarthy “played a key role in encouraging shocking abuse towards police officers and members of the public and the wider violent disorder…”

Neither of these specimens is exactly our idea of a political prisoner. They’re just racist thugs getting their comeuppance.  And of course PA know that.

We see that Nigel Farage claims to spend two days a week in Clacton. With him being such a celebrity, that surely means that dozens of people, minimum, will have cameraphone footage of him strutting his stuff on the streets. We must just be looking in the wrong place for these video delights.

Because it would have to be appearances on the streets, wouldn’t it? He doesn’t live in Clacton, and there’s no Reform office in the town, so it’s not like he might be tucked away somewhere in town slaving away over a hot keyboard and smartphone.

”I’m there a couple of days every week and to do more is difficult, because I’ve got to be here in Westminster,” he told ITV News Anglia. Oh goody! That means there must be lots of further footage of Farage in the Commons. Doesn’t it? Umm… OK.

“What will help will be a house relocation, which is currently going through. So once I’ve got a property there it’ll make life a lot easier. It all takes longer than you want it to. You think it should happen next Thursday, but it takes a few weeks.”

Well, of course. Though no doubt it will proceed more quickly after Nomad Nigel has had a chance to exchange notes with the property portfolio experts at next weekend’s Kuala Lumpur conference for ’Nomad capitalists’. They should be able to give him some hot tips on what to buy with a view to selling at a profit after he ceases to be the Clacton MP.

“You know, if we’re going to make big breakthroughs next year, it’ll be in the East,” he has told the media, who believe him to be talking about Essex, Suffolk and Norfolk council elections next May. How long before the penny drops that where he’s trying to make a breakthrough is in money-making opportunities in the Far East?

Well, you’ve got to hand it to Farage. Battered by accusations that he doesn’t give a toss about Clacton, and that his constituents can’t get a surgery meeting with their MP, he’s announced he can’t hold surgeries because he’s afraid people will turn up with knives, intending him no good.

“We’re not in a fit state to do the old-style surgeries, but do you know what, if you’ve got something to say to me as a Clacton resident, Zoom is not the end of the world.”

Well, next Friday his consituents probably won’t even have Zoom as an option, because their MP will not only not be holding a surgery, he will actually be at ’the end of the world’.

He’ll be speaking at a ‘Nomad Capitalism’ conference in Kuala Lumpur, in 5-star, air-conditioned luxury discussing, with other ‘global citizens’, tax avoidance, crypto-currency, multiple nationalities and such like subjects which are the daily concern of his Clacton voters.

It bills itself as “…four glamorous days learning the most up-to-date strategies to reduce your taxes, build a global Plan B, and diversify and protect your wealth around the world”.

So, good luck managing to get some online face time with a man who will be in the GMT+8 time zone and busy hobnobbing with billionaires.

National Rebirth Party leader Alek Yerbury has offered up a taster of the Rise Britannia magazine that he is launching next month. Issue 1’s cover looks a real treat. A fat man with almost non-existent calves (hidden by brown football socks) and wearing a shonky shop plush superhero cape and a tantalising see-thru baby doll nightie. Barf!

Does England still have an Obscene Publications Squad that this ’painting’ can be referred to?

It’s not entirely clear who the man or the sword are supposed to be. Arthur drew Excalibur Mark I from an anvil sitting on a stone. Even in half-arsed versions that leave out the anvil, Arthur is supposed to be a skinny teenager, not a retired Rugby player gone to flab.

And Excalibur Mark II came from a lake.

Galahad pulled the Adventurous Sword direct from a stone, but that stone was floating (!) on Camelot’s river, and Galahad was supposedly 15 years old. Yerbury’s Fatso and his rock don’t really seem to fit.

In the miracle of St Wulfstan and the stone, the object that no one else could pull out was a staff. And as Wulfstan was a bishop at the time, it would be more reasonable to depict him in clerical robes than as someone on their way to a gender-fluid orgy.

Casting further afield than blessed Britain, there’s the Norse sword Gram (Wagner preferred to call it ’Nothung’) but that was always recovered from being buried hilt-deep in a tree. It’s quite a puzzle.

As for the provenance of the ’artwork’, we think that the infant Fanning is far too young to have painted it, unless an astonishing prodigy. It must surely have been someone closer to the age of 10.

Whatever, we are avidly looking forward to the publication of Rise Britannia. It promises to be a treat. And we are desperately hoping there’s a mail order shopping page offering the plushie cape, the naughty nightie, the shonky socks and (please, please, please) a model Sword in the Stone in hand-painted resin.

Yummy!

It’s local council by-election time in Little Parndon in Harlow, occasioned by the resignation of Labour councillor Chris Vance, who was elected MP in the recent general election.

And Reform UK is running an “excellent” candidate in local man Peter Lamb (above) who they say, “lives in the ward and knows it well, and will be well able to represent the people of Little Parndon on the council.

No problem at all for them that his Islamophobia even got him disciplined by the Tories for whom he previously ran as a local candidate.

Read about it here: https://www.politicshome.com/news/article/excl-tories-slammed-after-activist-suspended-for-islamophobia-allowed-to-stand-as-council-candidate